Final good by-Brenda Comnick -12/11/10

I feel my body floating, as the years grow dim. They all said that the pain would get less, so when will that be?
When will I feel like a person again?
Someone who can finally enjoy life and live it to it’s fullest.
When will I start to heal?
Every night I use to walk the halls in fear that this is not dream.
No I walk the halls knowing that it’s not.
My life will never be the same. A part of me will always be missing. My eyes will never have the gleam of happiness. I want to live again but can’t. The pain is to great. I have forgotten you voice, your smile, your laugh and the tenderness of your touch.
I want to reach out and hold you again in my arms. Hold your face in my hands and gently kiss the small of your neck.
I want to hear the laughs that we had together.
I want to be with others and not feel strange that I have no one that I love sitting with me.
You know when you left me that I would fall apart. That I would pull away and you know that it would be for a long while.
Why did you have to go?
Why did you have to die?
Why couldn’t it be me instead of you?
Why does it have to hurt so much?
For three years I have morn for you. Long to be with you.
For three years I forced myself to go and do things that I really didn’t want to.
For three years I sat and cried for you day and night.
I can’t stand the loneness anymore. I need to say good-by my love and really move on.
I will miss you forever and forever you will be my only true love.
2011 must be my year of coming out into the world again.
Good by.

This is dedicated to my one and only Soul mate

Brenda Gomnick Died 12/11/07 Rest in peace my love.

By
Herb A Krantz

No happily every after

Once upon a time there was a young man who was happy go lucky. He lived life every day to the fullest. Then one day he met his love, dancing down the street. It didn't take long for them to fall madly in live and get married.

They both worked hard and played hard. He worked from early morning to late at night. They family had everything except their father-husband there with them. He was trying to make a living for them but as usual he didn't realize that they rather have him. He finally realized what his family wanted. They wanted him around more so he stepped down from his high paying position to a lesser position, a job to spend more time with his family. That position paid less and the family had to do with less. His wife didn't like that. She was use to not working and having anything she wanted.

After twenty years of marriage it finally caught up to them. The arguments when they were together became command place.

One day his daughter look up at him and asked," Why do you and mommy argue all the time, he answered, when we stop arguing it will be time to start worrying because then we won't care what happens to our family. As long as there was something to fight for the marriage would stay together he thought.

That day of reckoning came and after twenty years their family broke up. It was a very sad day for the kids but the parents knew it couldn't go on. That it was better that he left and maybe his wife and the kids would live a calmer life. As most families he became a weekend dad, but he called his kids every night. He wanted to let then know that he loved them very much.

He stay by himself working all day and most of the night in a business he started. He was getting very lonely and prayed to the God above that he would met someone that would totally love for what he was and no for what he can give her. For years he would go out with several different woman and have a meaningless relationships with them. He was never really happy and always was glad to be alone again.

Then one day he met this very charming lady. She had a glare in her eyes a smile in her voice. He knew that she was special when he met her but how special she really was, was a pleasant surprise. She was a unique person, someone who would make everyone who met her feel good to be in her presents. To be around her was to be in front of an angle that was here on earth to spread happiness and joy. Could it be that God had finally answered his prayers? She was way more than he had asked for. He found a meaningful relationship with her that grow into a love that was strong and every lasting. Everyone that met them both could see how very much in love they were. It was a love story that you read in a book or see in the movies. His family and hers fell in love with each other. It was like they were all made for each other. They married and lived very happily but only for a short time.

Once again his hart would be broken. His soul mate died suddenly and he was left along again to morn her death forever. There could be no one to take her place; she was tru
one of a kind. Once again God would take away the reason for living. When she was alive he had a purpose. Now there was nothing. What was sense of looking again, to fall in love, for it to be taken away? There will only be loneliness and despair there will be no happy every after for him.

Holidays of a lonely hart

The time of happiness and cheer are here again but it brings sadness and tears for me.
It brings memories of laughter and joy with my wife and myself who passed away two years ago today (Dec 11/2007).
As I think of those times of happiness I think how I can no longer hear her voice or see her face, when I close my eyes there just a darken space. This time of year will never be happy again.
My heart races and the sadness and despair gripe my soul as I realize that I will never see her, hold her, kiss her, tell her that I love her again.
You have changed my life my love and tough me well.
You shown me what true love can really be?
The tenderness of a touch and the love from the soul.
I prayed for a long time to have someone like you in my life and I was blessed but the time was to short.
The love we shared will stay within me till the day I die.
I hope I can share that kind of love with someone else before then. To have a love that is strong and from the soul would be a gift again. What man is that lucky to find it twice in a lifetime.
This is my prayer to you, whatever god there is above. Keep my family and friends safe. Let there be peace in my lifetime. If there is a hereafter watch over Brenda for me because she was my Angel who came down and took a broken man a made him whole.
To those that have a spouse or any lover. Let them know that you love them. Tell them ever morning and every night. Hug them as much as you can for you never know when it could be that last.

Thoughts of a Widower/Dedicated to Brenda Gomnick

I promised myself that I would not put my feelings of the lose of my wife and the loneliness I feel on my Blogs again but I was sitting watching the rain and felt sadden. So I started to write. I wanted to share my feelings with anyone who is going through the same hartach that I still go through almost two years afterwards. It’s never gets better. The pain will always be there


Thoughts of a Widower
As I look out my window watching the rain falling to earth and against the glass. It reminds me of the tears that fall down my face every night and every day. I could feel the cold wet damp weather that goes through you, the kind that chills your to the bones. It reminds me of the nights we sat by the fireplace cuddling to get warm.
I enjoyed holding you tight in my arms and touching your face with my hands, looking into your eyes and seeing all the love we had for each other.
When I close my eyes at night I ask to have that monument play once more time in my head.
My prays go unanswered and I feel abandon. For no one knows the loneliness and hurt I go through every day without you. You are still the first face I think of in the morning and the last face I think of at night.
How do we as widowers and widows get over the lost of our loved ones?
Is it written that we will find true love only to loose it?
Will we ever find the love we once had again?
Or move on to another type of love?
Will it ever be as good as it was before?
Or will we have to settle for second best?

It is hard once you have found your soul mate to seek that kind of love again.
I am ready to start over again but I don’t know how to obtain the love I am looking for.
I need mad passion in my life. A passion that will keep the flames of love and desire glowing for every.
Some one who could make the world happy with her smile and her angelica voice.
They say the eyes are the windows to our souls .I need a good soul in my life so I can become a better one and so I can become happy once more.
I dedicated this to my love Brenda and to all the Widows and Widowers that have found their soul mate and lost them.
May we all find love once more?

How do I get over true love?

How do I get over true love?

As a person grows older it is always better to grow with someone who is near and dear to your hart, a soul mate. When that other half isn’t there your may never grow older at all. Not because you don’t want to but because your hart is broken.
A broken hart never mends as the song says. The memories of a true love, a soul mate will never be replaced.
It’s no fair that I have lost the only woman that I will truly love as my soul mate. The only woman that made me fell complete, made me feel like a man. Who appreciated me for who I really was and who I really am?
I waited most of my life to find you only to lose you again. There are many friends around me but I cannot get close to them as I did with you by my side.
How long is it going to take to find someone just to soften my hartack?
How long will it take to find some happiness again?
I have been told that it’s time to move on and rightly so.
I should, but how?
Every day I fine something that brings me to you.
Every night I cry myself to sleep, cause your not there beside me.
I look into woman’s eyes to seek out yours.
It will be two years Dec 11 and I still miss you just like it was yesterday, but I seek the friendship of someone else to fill the void.
I need to venture out but I miss you so.
Am I nuts or is this the way it is?
There are so many feelings that run deep inside me. A hole where feelings use to be.
I would love to share those feeling with another.
Am I ready?
I think so but I am afraid of losing you completely.
I need to feel whole again but I don’t know how.
How do I start over again after sharing a love like ours?
How do I open up to someone else and take the chance?
How do I give of myself without being afraid of giving to much?
What do I do to get started, I can’t forget you?
I need to move on. I know that, but how and who it the difficult part of growing without you.

You will be in my hart forever My Love, Brenda

I will be forever yours

I will be forever yours

This is the beginning of my life with out my loved one. A lonely road that I must walk without her by my side. I carry her memory with me where every I go. I cannot smile because what ever I do I wish she was here with me.
This year of loss was truly something I never thought would happen. We were supposed to live a long happy life together. Our love was a love many only dreamed of.
I will never see a love like this again. I will never know the feeling of being loved with someone’s body and soul.
We had something special that only a few people know.
Sometimes I laugh with a heavy hart for I always think of you. I miss your bright eyes and cheerfully smile.
The warmth of your hugs and voice that I will never hear again. There will be no one that will replace you. It will be a Loveless journey ahead of me for my hart will be yours and belong to no one else.
There maybe others but I can only love you the way I did. I can only give myself to you.
This year is almost coming to an end and I feel the same hurt as strong as I did in the beginning. Everyone had said it will get easier but I find it harder as time goes on. There are only few moments in my life as I spent them with another that I feel I can escape, but you will always be in my heart and the pain and emptiness will always be there forever.
I will be forever yours till the day I die.


Herb A Krantz

Dedicated to My soul mate Brenda Gomnick.

If only

If only I could see you again and tell you how much I love you. Look you in your eyes and see the light of your soul.
If only I could hold you in my arms again and feel your body next to mine. I would hold you tight and never let you go.
If only I knew that you were leaving me I would have held on to you as you left this world.
If only I knew that you would die not I, I would of begged the lord above to take me instead.
If only I had on more chance to kiss on your neck. To make you laugh. To make you feel good about yourself.
If only I could see your smile and hear your voice once more.
If only we could go out and dance and be the couple that shows love on the dance floor. No matter where we went everyone know we were a couple deeply in love. Two lonely souls placed together by the lord above.
There are so many things I feel we have left undone.
I will never feel complete again no that you are gone.
If only I knew the joy I felt with you, I don’t know if I would of taken the chance because of the hurt I feel know.
One thing I do know I will never let myself be put in this place. The hurt is to great to go through again.
Rest in peace my one and only true love

Dedicated to Brenda G. Gomnick.


Herb A Krantz