I have asked many people how you get through the first year of the loss of a loved one? The answer is the same from everyone I ask. You have to be strong and continue on with your life. I find that the most difficult thing I have ever faced and I can’t seem to get moving. My anxiety grows every week since Brenda died.
I know have to take medicine to sleep and I fight every day not to take medicine for my anxiety. I don’t want depend upon a pill to make me feel good or function every day. I have to fight it or it will control me. It’s bad enough that my depression holds me hostage. Will this ever end?
I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, all I see is the dark. Thank God for the good friends and family Brenda left me with. Two friends in particular that will not let me sit for long.
I am now trying to get out and fight for my life again. I know it will never be the same or even close. I will never love again like I did with Brenda. I don’t know if I will ever love at all. I don’t want to be hurt again. The pain is to great.
I need to find the courage to face what is ahead of me.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Sunday, August 17, 2008
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Live Again
I triedall my life by doing the right thing for every one. My friends, family and quittances. Is would always be about them. They were important parts of my life. They matter deeply to me and still do. I always told Brenda if we treat our spouses like we treat friends they would be no devoice.
I lived my life this way and many times it would back fire however till now it never deterred my trust for others. I find myself trusting less and being along more.
Since Brenda died my world has been rocked in a way that I don’t know if I will every get over. For a while I had people in my life keeping me busy but now there lives are involved and I am alone again.
Year’s ago I was use to going places alone, I must get used to it again but taking that first steep is difficult. I was getting use to the female friend campaign on Friday and Saturday night dinners. It was great it was something to look forward to. A mistake that I will never let happen again
As I have been told, I must be a man a get through this and join the world of the living. How the hell do you get past it? How do you join the living after everything in your life has died?
I feel that I need a friend in my life that has gown through what I am going through. Some one who can truly feel my pain and teach me to live again
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia Chop Hospital Phila Pa. http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
I lived my life this way and many times it would back fire however till now it never deterred my trust for others. I find myself trusting less and being along more.
Since Brenda died my world has been rocked in a way that I don’t know if I will every get over. For a while I had people in my life keeping me busy but now there lives are involved and I am alone again.
Year’s ago I was use to going places alone, I must get used to it again but taking that first steep is difficult. I was getting use to the female friend campaign on Friday and Saturday night dinners. It was great it was something to look forward to. A mistake that I will never let happen again
As I have been told, I must be a man a get through this and join the world of the living. How the hell do you get past it? How do you join the living after everything in your life has died?
I feel that I need a friend in my life that has gown through what I am going through. Some one who can truly feel my pain and teach me to live again
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia Chop Hospital Phila Pa. http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Why Didn't I Die ?
It’s been 34 weeks - 8 months since Brenda died and the pain has gotten stronger. The little happiness I have from my daughter, grandchildren, friends and family temporarily masks the torment that I go through every night. It was my grandchild’s birthday. Being there celebrating without Brenda was unbearable.
The question- why didn’t I die still runs through my head. Everyday I pry it will be the last so the pain will go away. When I am alone I find myself crying with such intensity that my whole body and soul hurts. As hard as I try I cannot sleep at night. Some days are 24 hours some are 20. The time I spend awake is always spent in sadness thinking of the lost of Brenda.
Everyday is wasted sleeping because I can’t sleep at night. Everything I have tried to do has failed. My life is not worth living. I feel that I have let everyone down especially Brenda; she would of expected more of me. I lay down on the bed and close my eyes and just for a moment I think I will fall asleep my mind starts running.
Is there any hope for me? I can’t live this way. Sometimes I feel like I am jumping out of my skin. I had a dream that I was laying next to Brenda in the grave. We were both on our backs and I was holding her hand. I hope that that dream will come true quickly. It will make others sad but it would put me out of my misery. That may be selfish but I don’t know how much more I can take. I need a job or something to do to keep my mind busy and my body tired.
Everyone tells me that I have to get pass it. How the hell do you get pass the loss of your soul mate? I have moments of happiness but they don’t last for long. I have even tried to go out with some one to feel like a couple again. There was no love involved just company but that hasn’t helped either. I am back in my house thinking to much. I tried to see Momma MIA In the movies but had to leave. It was the last play we saw in New York. My dear friend always puts things into order whether I want to or not. Thank good she is in my life.
I find everything I do walls keep on popping up.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
The question- why didn’t I die still runs through my head. Everyday I pry it will be the last so the pain will go away. When I am alone I find myself crying with such intensity that my whole body and soul hurts. As hard as I try I cannot sleep at night. Some days are 24 hours some are 20. The time I spend awake is always spent in sadness thinking of the lost of Brenda.
Everyday is wasted sleeping because I can’t sleep at night. Everything I have tried to do has failed. My life is not worth living. I feel that I have let everyone down especially Brenda; she would of expected more of me. I lay down on the bed and close my eyes and just for a moment I think I will fall asleep my mind starts running.
Is there any hope for me? I can’t live this way. Sometimes I feel like I am jumping out of my skin. I had a dream that I was laying next to Brenda in the grave. We were both on our backs and I was holding her hand. I hope that that dream will come true quickly. It will make others sad but it would put me out of my misery. That may be selfish but I don’t know how much more I can take. I need a job or something to do to keep my mind busy and my body tired.
Everyone tells me that I have to get pass it. How the hell do you get pass the loss of your soul mate? I have moments of happiness but they don’t last for long. I have even tried to go out with some one to feel like a couple again. There was no love involved just company but that hasn’t helped either. I am back in my house thinking to much. I tried to see Momma MIA In the movies but had to leave. It was the last play we saw in New York. My dear friend always puts things into order whether I want to or not. Thank good she is in my life.
I find everything I do walls keep on popping up.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Brenda’s Unveiling
Brenda’s unveiling is now almost two week old and I still feel the same.
I don’t understand what I expected to happen? A big weight lifted off me? That’s crazy for I will always feel the loss of this great lady. Brenda will never be replaced and my hurt will never go away. Did I think that putting a stone on her grave would help me realize she was gone? I knew that Brenda would never return Dec. 11 when she had the stroke. I knew that it wouldn’t be a Hollywood ending. Brenda was gone and my life was changed for every.
The stone does not really tell the story of how great a woman she was. It doesn’t relay the worm caring human being she was. The gentile caring that she gave to everyone she met. Brenda was truly one of a kind. I know that I didn’t deserve her and all that she gave to me. I wasn’t worthy of her love but I will worship it forever.
I just hope as time goes by I will be able to live without her. Even though I surround myself with her friends, the nights and times I spend alone are spent thinking about Brenda. As her face and laughter grow dim her memory will always be in my hart and soul.
My love for Brenda will always be strong. I hope in the future I will find love again but I know that it will never be what Brenda and I had. That was a love story that Hollywood movies are made from. A love that could weather anything and be strong. An unconditional love. I guess I was very lucky to have that once in my life. Now it’s time for me to move on with my life. It wont be easy without Brenda.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
I don’t understand what I expected to happen? A big weight lifted off me? That’s crazy for I will always feel the loss of this great lady. Brenda will never be replaced and my hurt will never go away. Did I think that putting a stone on her grave would help me realize she was gone? I knew that Brenda would never return Dec. 11 when she had the stroke. I knew that it wouldn’t be a Hollywood ending. Brenda was gone and my life was changed for every.
The stone does not really tell the story of how great a woman she was. It doesn’t relay the worm caring human being she was. The gentile caring that she gave to everyone she met. Brenda was truly one of a kind. I know that I didn’t deserve her and all that she gave to me. I wasn’t worthy of her love but I will worship it forever.
I just hope as time goes by I will be able to live without her. Even though I surround myself with her friends, the nights and times I spend alone are spent thinking about Brenda. As her face and laughter grow dim her memory will always be in my hart and soul.
My love for Brenda will always be strong. I hope in the future I will find love again but I know that it will never be what Brenda and I had. That was a love story that Hollywood movies are made from. A love that could weather anything and be strong. An unconditional love. I guess I was very lucky to have that once in my life. Now it’s time for me to move on with my life. It wont be easy without Brenda.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
The End ( Brenda Gomnick)
The finial day of Brenda is almost here. We will all gather to said good-bye. It will be the last time the majority of her friends will every see her again and her memory will fade as the years go on.
Even though they truly loved her and will miss her, they will never think about her again until they hear or see something to remind them.
Brenda’s memory will live on strong in my hart and soul. I will never forget her for every day I will think about her and how rich she made my life. She for filled everything that I was looking for. My life became really happy for the first time. I was just living a mere existence till Brenda came into my life. I lived a full life, happy and content with Brenda in it. Now I must live with out her. That’s going to be a rough thing to do. I don’t know if I am up to it. Brenda has spoiled me with her love. No one could every equal it. The happiness that I had may never come back again.
What the future will bring I am afraid to face without her. The unknown is scary to face especially after finding true love. Will I every be happy again? Is love in my future? These are things I am afraid to find out. I just can’t imagine life without Brenda even though it has been over six months.
I will need my friends and family around me for a long time to come. This tragedy in my life I may never over come, without the help of my Friends and family to make it easier.
I close my eyes every night in hopes that I will see Brenda again. She never appears. I just want to say goodbye and tell her that I love her. After that I can let her go. Until then I can never truly move on.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name aliveBelow are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Even though they truly loved her and will miss her, they will never think about her again until they hear or see something to remind them.
Brenda’s memory will live on strong in my hart and soul. I will never forget her for every day I will think about her and how rich she made my life. She for filled everything that I was looking for. My life became really happy for the first time. I was just living a mere existence till Brenda came into my life. I lived a full life, happy and content with Brenda in it. Now I must live with out her. That’s going to be a rough thing to do. I don’t know if I am up to it. Brenda has spoiled me with her love. No one could every equal it. The happiness that I had may never come back again.
What the future will bring I am afraid to face without her. The unknown is scary to face especially after finding true love. Will I every be happy again? Is love in my future? These are things I am afraid to find out. I just can’t imagine life without Brenda even though it has been over six months.
I will need my friends and family around me for a long time to come. This tragedy in my life I may never over come, without the help of my Friends and family to make it easier.
I close my eyes every night in hopes that I will see Brenda again. She never appears. I just want to say goodbye and tell her that I love her. After that I can let her go. Until then I can never truly move on.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name aliveBelow are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Monday, June 9, 2008
Finial Goodbye to Brenda Gomnick
My life is going on but I feel like Brenda’s is final coming to its finality. Once the monument is in place and all her friends and family say goodbye that’s it.
That day-that week will be a roughest week for me. It will be a time in my life that I will feel my loneliness the most. I will never forget her. My love for her will grow even in her demise. She was and always will be my one and only true love.
I know that I must move on but Brenda will be in my hart and soul and I will love her till the day I die.
Even though I can’t hold her or hear her laugh any longer I will hold my memories of Brenda very close to my hart. She will be a part of me wherever my journey leads.
This is a journey I thought I would never have to take alone. I thought that we would both live to a ripe old age or that I would go first.
Brenda was my support my partner in life and love. We lived for each other, now there is no one to live for. I have my friends and family along with my grandchildren but it’s not the same as having Brenda. She was the light in my life. The reason for me living. I will remember her child like audited on life. The way things came out of her mouth that made everyone laugh.
When Brenda was around no one sat with a long face. She would have you feeling good about being around her. Brenda was magical in every way.
Brenda was an angle who walked the earth we us for a moment in time, now I will have to let her go. I thank you for the time you have given me to enjoy you.
Until we meet again my angel.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
This will be my last article about Brenda and myself.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
That day-that week will be a roughest week for me. It will be a time in my life that I will feel my loneliness the most. I will never forget her. My love for her will grow even in her demise. She was and always will be my one and only true love.
I know that I must move on but Brenda will be in my hart and soul and I will love her till the day I die.
Even though I can’t hold her or hear her laugh any longer I will hold my memories of Brenda very close to my hart. She will be a part of me wherever my journey leads.
This is a journey I thought I would never have to take alone. I thought that we would both live to a ripe old age or that I would go first.
Brenda was my support my partner in life and love. We lived for each other, now there is no one to live for. I have my friends and family along with my grandchildren but it’s not the same as having Brenda. She was the light in my life. The reason for me living. I will remember her child like audited on life. The way things came out of her mouth that made everyone laugh.
When Brenda was around no one sat with a long face. She would have you feeling good about being around her. Brenda was magical in every way.
Brenda was an angle who walked the earth we us for a moment in time, now I will have to let her go. I thank you for the time you have given me to enjoy you.
Until we meet again my angel.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
This will be my last article about Brenda and myself.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Thursday, May 29, 2008
One more Angel in heaven tonight
Today they buried a great man. A man who stood above all others. He was just like Brenda in many ways. When I met Brenda and she changed my life and when she introduce me the Michael he showed me was a true man was.
Even thought his body became week his mind was strong. He never gave up and always looked at the glass half full. I became very friendly with him; he was like another brother to me. I shared things with him that I shared with no one else.
To know Michael is to love him. He had a sense of humor that was unique. He would make fun of himself and the way he did it we would all laugh. Once again the laughter has left our lives. Even in death Michael you leave a lasting memory that will make most of us smile.
You have join up with your Brender(Brenda) once more. There is another angel in heaven tonight. You and Brenda will walk together. I can hear the angels laughing. Down here my hart is broken again, I have lost another true friend. Take care of Brenda for me until I get there. I love you both.
Love you guy, rest in peace.
Michael Penn; if there were more people in the world like him, the world would be a better place.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s and Michael’s name aliveBelow are links that you can donate funds in their names.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Even thought his body became week his mind was strong. He never gave up and always looked at the glass half full. I became very friendly with him; he was like another brother to me. I shared things with him that I shared with no one else.
To know Michael is to love him. He had a sense of humor that was unique. He would make fun of himself and the way he did it we would all laugh. Once again the laughter has left our lives. Even in death Michael you leave a lasting memory that will make most of us smile.
You have join up with your Brender(Brenda) once more. There is another angel in heaven tonight. You and Brenda will walk together. I can hear the angels laughing. Down here my hart is broken again, I have lost another true friend. Take care of Brenda for me until I get there. I love you both.
Love you guy, rest in peace.
Michael Penn; if there were more people in the world like him, the world would be a better place.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s and Michael’s name aliveBelow are links that you can donate funds in their names.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
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