I triedall my life by doing the right thing for every one. My friends, family and quittances. Is would always be about them. They were important parts of my life. They matter deeply to me and still do. I always told Brenda if we treat our spouses like we treat friends they would be no devoice.
I lived my life this way and many times it would back fire however till now it never deterred my trust for others. I find myself trusting less and being along more.
Since Brenda died my world has been rocked in a way that I don’t know if I will every get over. For a while I had people in my life keeping me busy but now there lives are involved and I am alone again.
Year’s ago I was use to going places alone, I must get used to it again but taking that first steep is difficult. I was getting use to the female friend campaign on Friday and Saturday night dinners. It was great it was something to look forward to. A mistake that I will never let happen again
As I have been told, I must be a man a get through this and join the world of the living. How the hell do you get past it? How do you join the living after everything in your life has died?
I feel that I need a friend in my life that has gown through what I am going through. Some one who can truly feel my pain and teach me to live again
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia Chop Hospital Phila Pa. http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Why Didn't I Die ?
It’s been 34 weeks - 8 months since Brenda died and the pain has gotten stronger. The little happiness I have from my daughter, grandchildren, friends and family temporarily masks the torment that I go through every night. It was my grandchild’s birthday. Being there celebrating without Brenda was unbearable.
The question- why didn’t I die still runs through my head. Everyday I pry it will be the last so the pain will go away. When I am alone I find myself crying with such intensity that my whole body and soul hurts. As hard as I try I cannot sleep at night. Some days are 24 hours some are 20. The time I spend awake is always spent in sadness thinking of the lost of Brenda.
Everyday is wasted sleeping because I can’t sleep at night. Everything I have tried to do has failed. My life is not worth living. I feel that I have let everyone down especially Brenda; she would of expected more of me. I lay down on the bed and close my eyes and just for a moment I think I will fall asleep my mind starts running.
Is there any hope for me? I can’t live this way. Sometimes I feel like I am jumping out of my skin. I had a dream that I was laying next to Brenda in the grave. We were both on our backs and I was holding her hand. I hope that that dream will come true quickly. It will make others sad but it would put me out of my misery. That may be selfish but I don’t know how much more I can take. I need a job or something to do to keep my mind busy and my body tired.
Everyone tells me that I have to get pass it. How the hell do you get pass the loss of your soul mate? I have moments of happiness but they don’t last for long. I have even tried to go out with some one to feel like a couple again. There was no love involved just company but that hasn’t helped either. I am back in my house thinking to much. I tried to see Momma MIA In the movies but had to leave. It was the last play we saw in New York. My dear friend always puts things into order whether I want to or not. Thank good she is in my life.
I find everything I do walls keep on popping up.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
The question- why didn’t I die still runs through my head. Everyday I pry it will be the last so the pain will go away. When I am alone I find myself crying with such intensity that my whole body and soul hurts. As hard as I try I cannot sleep at night. Some days are 24 hours some are 20. The time I spend awake is always spent in sadness thinking of the lost of Brenda.
Everyday is wasted sleeping because I can’t sleep at night. Everything I have tried to do has failed. My life is not worth living. I feel that I have let everyone down especially Brenda; she would of expected more of me. I lay down on the bed and close my eyes and just for a moment I think I will fall asleep my mind starts running.
Is there any hope for me? I can’t live this way. Sometimes I feel like I am jumping out of my skin. I had a dream that I was laying next to Brenda in the grave. We were both on our backs and I was holding her hand. I hope that that dream will come true quickly. It will make others sad but it would put me out of my misery. That may be selfish but I don’t know how much more I can take. I need a job or something to do to keep my mind busy and my body tired.
Everyone tells me that I have to get pass it. How the hell do you get pass the loss of your soul mate? I have moments of happiness but they don’t last for long. I have even tried to go out with some one to feel like a couple again. There was no love involved just company but that hasn’t helped either. I am back in my house thinking to much. I tried to see Momma MIA In the movies but had to leave. It was the last play we saw in New York. My dear friend always puts things into order whether I want to or not. Thank good she is in my life.
I find everything I do walls keep on popping up.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
Wednesday, July 2, 2008
Brenda’s Unveiling
Brenda’s unveiling is now almost two week old and I still feel the same.
I don’t understand what I expected to happen? A big weight lifted off me? That’s crazy for I will always feel the loss of this great lady. Brenda will never be replaced and my hurt will never go away. Did I think that putting a stone on her grave would help me realize she was gone? I knew that Brenda would never return Dec. 11 when she had the stroke. I knew that it wouldn’t be a Hollywood ending. Brenda was gone and my life was changed for every.
The stone does not really tell the story of how great a woman she was. It doesn’t relay the worm caring human being she was. The gentile caring that she gave to everyone she met. Brenda was truly one of a kind. I know that I didn’t deserve her and all that she gave to me. I wasn’t worthy of her love but I will worship it forever.
I just hope as time goes by I will be able to live without her. Even though I surround myself with her friends, the nights and times I spend alone are spent thinking about Brenda. As her face and laughter grow dim her memory will always be in my hart and soul.
My love for Brenda will always be strong. I hope in the future I will find love again but I know that it will never be what Brenda and I had. That was a love story that Hollywood movies are made from. A love that could weather anything and be strong. An unconditional love. I guess I was very lucky to have that once in my life. Now it’s time for me to move on with my life. It wont be easy without Brenda.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
I don’t understand what I expected to happen? A big weight lifted off me? That’s crazy for I will always feel the loss of this great lady. Brenda will never be replaced and my hurt will never go away. Did I think that putting a stone on her grave would help me realize she was gone? I knew that Brenda would never return Dec. 11 when she had the stroke. I knew that it wouldn’t be a Hollywood ending. Brenda was gone and my life was changed for every.
The stone does not really tell the story of how great a woman she was. It doesn’t relay the worm caring human being she was. The gentile caring that she gave to everyone she met. Brenda was truly one of a kind. I know that I didn’t deserve her and all that she gave to me. I wasn’t worthy of her love but I will worship it forever.
I just hope as time goes by I will be able to live without her. Even though I surround myself with her friends, the nights and times I spend alone are spent thinking about Brenda. As her face and laughter grow dim her memory will always be in my hart and soul.
My love for Brenda will always be strong. I hope in the future I will find love again but I know that it will never be what Brenda and I had. That was a love story that Hollywood movies are made from. A love that could weather anything and be strong. An unconditional love. I guess I was very lucky to have that once in my life. Now it’s time for me to move on with my life. It wont be easy without Brenda.
Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD
Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm
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