Final good by-Brenda Comnick -12/11/10

I feel my body floating, as the years grow dim. They all said that the pain would get less, so when will that be?
When will I feel like a person again?
Someone who can finally enjoy life and live it to it’s fullest.
When will I start to heal?
Every night I use to walk the halls in fear that this is not dream.
No I walk the halls knowing that it’s not.
My life will never be the same. A part of me will always be missing. My eyes will never have the gleam of happiness. I want to live again but can’t. The pain is to great. I have forgotten you voice, your smile, your laugh and the tenderness of your touch.
I want to reach out and hold you again in my arms. Hold your face in my hands and gently kiss the small of your neck.
I want to hear the laughs that we had together.
I want to be with others and not feel strange that I have no one that I love sitting with me.
You know when you left me that I would fall apart. That I would pull away and you know that it would be for a long while.
Why did you have to go?
Why did you have to die?
Why couldn’t it be me instead of you?
Why does it have to hurt so much?
For three years I have morn for you. Long to be with you.
For three years I forced myself to go and do things that I really didn’t want to.
For three years I sat and cried for you day and night.
I can’t stand the loneness anymore. I need to say good-by my love and really move on.
I will miss you forever and forever you will be my only true love.
2011 must be my year of coming out into the world again.
Good by.

This is dedicated to my one and only Soul mate

Brenda Gomnick Died 12/11/07 Rest in peace my love.

By
Herb A Krantz

My grief

My grief.

I wonder through the darkness with my eyes held shut. A mask covers my face, the path I walk I cannot see. My hart feels nothing.
There is no one to feel my grief, to share my lost. I am along with my tears. The hurt overcomes me at times, so much I cannot move. The lost of my love has taken the feeling of love from me. I don’t know if I could every offer it again.
Will I ever feel love again?
Will I ever be able to give love?
Is there happiness in my future?
Will I ever need others in my life?
I am to a point in my life that I have to make a design on how to guild it.
Life is so hard as is, but to get past a death of a person who has made such a difference in your life makes it harder.
She was a ray of sunshine whenever she entered a room.
She was a person that made people laugh.
She made everyone feel good about themselves.
She made me come alive.
She was a gift to all that knew her.
I feel it maybe time to continue on with whatever life I have left but I don’t know if I can. I think to myself I’m doing well but then I get hit with rage and sadness.
Is it time I move on?
Is it right to continue down that road without her?
I don’t know what lay’s ahead but I do know I can’t give what I did before. This hurt is to deep to ever go through it again.
I must welcome the dark and say good-by to the happiness I once knew.


Dedicated to Brenda G. Gomnick.


Herb A Krantz

The Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) 2008

The Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) 2008

I have lost my identity and the meaning for living. As I look back at last year we were celebrating my rebirth from the dead. Not only was I not suppose to leave the hospital but I was not given much chance afterward. Brenda and all the family gave thanks to god for writing me in the book of life.
We never though that Brenda would not be included in the book of life with me. I’m here and she is gone. God played a bad joke on all that loved her and knew. He took the wrong person and know we are all left to suffer.
My life will never be the same. The fulfillment I felt in life with Brenda will never be again with anyone else. I am a shell of what I use to be. Brenda knew that this would happen. She told me two weeks before she died.
I don’t look forward to the years to come. My eyes can’t see pass today. I have no plan for the future just keep looking back at the passed. I have decided that I will never marry again; it would not be fair to hold that woman up to the height of Brenda’s love. Therefore I will walk the reminder of my life in memories of what I had and lost In Brenda’s death.



Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, fantastic Grandmother and one hell of a woman, you are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Help me keep Brenda’s name aliveBelow are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name. Thank you Herb A Krantz
Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD

Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

The Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) 2008

The Jewish New Year (Rosh Hashanah) 2008

I have lost my identity and the meaning for living. As I look back at last year we were celebrating my rebirth from the dead. Not only was I not suppose to leave the hospital but I was not given much chance afterward. Brenda and all the family gave thanks to god for writing me in the book of life.
We never though that Brenda would not be included in the book of life with me. I’m here and she is gone. God played a bad joke on all that loved her and knew. He took the wrong person and know we are all left to suffer.
My life will never be the same. The fulfillment I felt in life with Brenda will never be again with anyone else. I am a shell of what I use to be. Brenda knew that this would happen. She told me two weeks before she died.
I don’t look forward to the years to come. My eyes can’t see pass today. I have no plan for the future just keep looking back at the passed. I have decided that I will never marry again; it would not be fair to hold that woman up to the height of Brenda’s love. Therefore I will walk the reminder of my life in memories of what I had and lost In Brenda’s death.



Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, fantastic Grandmother and one hell of a woman, you are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.
Help me keep Brenda’s name aliveBelow are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.

Thank you Herb A Krantz

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD

Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

The first Year Of Loss Of a loved one.doc

I have asked many people how you get through the first year of the loss of a loved one? The answer is the same from everyone I ask. You have to be strong and continue on with your life. I find that the most difficult thing I have ever faced and I can’t seem to get moving. My anxiety grows every week since Brenda died.
I know have to take medicine to sleep and I fight every day not to take medicine for my anxiety. I don’t want depend upon a pill to make me feel good or function every day. I have to fight it or it will control me. It’s bad enough that my depression holds me hostage. Will this ever end?
I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel, all I see is the dark. Thank God for the good friends and family Brenda left me with. Two friends in particular that will not let me sit for long.
I am now trying to get out and fight for my life again. I know it will never be the same or even close. I will never love again like I did with Brenda. I don’t know if I will ever love at all. I don’t want to be hurt again. The pain is to great.
I need to find the courage to face what is ahead of me.

Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.

Rest in peace my bright eyes.

Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.

Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.

Thank you Herb A Krantz

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp

St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD

Stem Cell Research

Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/

Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

Live Again

I triedall my life by doing the right thing for every one. My friends, family and quittances. Is would always be about them. They were important parts of my life. They matter deeply to me and still do. I always told Brenda if we treat our spouses like we treat friends they would be no devoice.
I lived my life this way and many times it would back fire however till now it never deterred my trust for others. I find myself trusting less and being along more.
Since Brenda died my world has been rocked in a way that I don’t know if I will every get over. For a while I had people in my life keeping me busy but now there lives are involved and I am alone again.
Year’s ago I was use to going places alone, I must get used to it again but taking that first steep is difficult. I was getting use to the female friend campaign on Friday and Saturday night dinners. It was great it was something to look forward to. A mistake that I will never let happen again
As I have been told, I must be a man a get through this and join the world of the living. How the hell do you get past it? How do you join the living after everything in your life has died?
I feel that I need a friend in my life that has gown through what I am going through. Some one who can truly feel my pain and teach me to live again

Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.

Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia Chop Hospital Phila Pa. http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp
St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD

Stem Cell Research
Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/
Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

Brenda’s Unveiling

Brenda’s unveiling is now almost two week old and I still feel the same.
I don’t understand what I expected to happen? A big weight lifted off me? That’s crazy for I will always feel the loss of this great lady. Brenda will never be replaced and my hurt will never go away. Did I think that putting a stone on her grave would help me realize she was gone? I knew that Brenda would never return Dec. 11 when she had the stroke. I knew that it wouldn’t be a Hollywood ending. Brenda was gone and my life was changed for every.
The stone does not really tell the story of how great a woman she was. It doesn’t relay the worm caring human being she was. The gentile caring that she gave to everyone she met. Brenda was truly one of a kind. I know that I didn’t deserve her and all that she gave to me. I wasn’t worthy of her love but I will worship it forever.
I just hope as time goes by I will be able to live without her. Even though I surround myself with her friends, the nights and times I spend alone are spent thinking about Brenda. As her face and laughter grow dim her memory will always be in my hart and soul.
My love for Brenda will always be strong. I hope in the future I will find love again but I know that it will never be what Brenda and I had. That was a love story that Hollywood movies are made from. A love that could weather anything and be strong. An unconditional love. I guess I was very lucky to have that once in my life. Now it’s time for me to move on with my life. It wont be easy without Brenda.

Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.

Rest in peace my bright eyes.

Help me keep Brenda’s name alive.Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.

Thank you Herb A Krantz

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia
Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp

St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD


Stem Cell Research

Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/

Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

My first Memorial Day without Brenda

This was my first Memorial Day without Brenda. It was a day of remembering the people who gave their lives for this country. I went to Washington for the weekend, to get away and remember our solders but there was another memory that was with me.
Even though I went with another person Brenda was there in my mind and my soul. Whatever I did I felt that it should have been Brenda here doing it with me. I felt the loss and the pain of her not being there. Once again I felt that guilt to be living without Brenda.
I had a great time there. I had time to clear my head and think about my future without Brenda. What will I do? Where will life take me? Part of that question was answer by a phone call, which was good news. The person that I was with was in Washington before and know where to go. For two days she walked my feet off. I felt relaxed and ready to go fourth for the first time since Brenda had passed away. Monday Memorial Day I was going to have a barbecue at my house. I was excited to make hamburgers on the grill again. Ten people were supposed to come but it dwelled in to half, just five.
It was just as well for I learned that a very dear friend of Brenda’s and then mind had died. I wasn’t much in the mood to celebrate anything at that point. I was almost envious of him because I wanted to be with Brenda. But he knew long before me and he was with her again. He was my source of information about Brenda’s past. He told me all the funny work stories. He was them only person who know that I was going to ask Brenda to marry me the day I did it. I will miss them both. Both Him and Brenda were very unique people and they will both be remembers by many. This world has lost another great person.

Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother, a woman of great worth to all and a fantastic Grandmother. You are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.

Rest in peace my bright eyes.
Help me keep Brenda’s name alive
Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.
Thank you Herb A Krantz

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia

Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp

St Jude
http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD

Stem Cell Research

Michael J Fox
http://www.michaeljfox.org/

Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

It was supposed to be a Happy Birthday Brenda

\

Today was the day you were born instead you not here.
We were supposed to celebrate instead I am mourning your death.
March was the month of our birth now I will remember it for your death.
This was a day for laughter and gifts and looking forward to next year. All that has ended with your death.

There will be no more laughter.
No happiness.
No Hope.
Just sadness and despair.
Loneliness and want for the old days when you were here.

I will long for your laugh and the warmth of your arms around me.
I will never be able to look into your eyes again and see the warmth there.
Nothing will every be the same.
I miss so, the hurt unbearable.


Happy birthday my love where ever you are.


Love Herb


Brenda G Gomnick wife, mother and fantastic Grandmother you are greatly missed already and your memory will live on forever.

Below are links that you can donate funds in Brenda's name.

Thank you

Herb A Krantz

Children's Hospital of Philadelphia

Chop Hospital Phila Pa.
http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp


St Jude

http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD



Stem Cell Research

Michael J Fox

http://www.michaeljfox.org/

Christopher reeve

http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htm

How Brenda's death effect everyone

I have spoken about my pain in Brenda’s death. There are many others that are going through withdrawal from Brenda’s passing.

I wonder if their pain is deeper than mine?

Her sister who has been close to her all her life. She and I talk a lot about Brenda but she holds back the tears and some times the anger she feels inside. I would like to help her but don’t know how. I can’t help myself.

Harve, my brother in-law, who does not show any emotions since her death but I know that he is hurting also. He had a special relationship with Brenda.

Her nieces who Brenda would talk with like a friend. They would tell her things they didn’t tell their mother.

My mother who looked at Brenda as a daughter. They had a real close bond. Brenda could get away with things that my sister couldn’t.

My sister who truly loved Brenda as a sister. When they got together the house would be in an uproar.

My daughter who loved Brenda like a mother. She was her best friend. Brenda taught her all about makeup and jewelry, all the girly things that her husband wanted her to do.

Our son in-law. They had a special bond also. He would call her almost every night and talk to her, especially when her favorite shows were on but she didn’t mind. Brenda was the light that shined for all of us. Now that light is no longer and I can’t carry that torch. She was a person that made everyone happy to be with. She is missing and revered by everyone. I would like to carry on her legacy but I am not even close to the person that she was. I will love you forever. You will always be in my heart and the spot where my soul was. Rest in Peace Brenda G Gominck Beloved Wife , Mother, Grand Mother (G-G), Aunt, Sister, Mother in-law, Sister In-law.

I would like to keep Brenda’s name alive so I have supplied several links below for anyone that would like to help Children in need. Please donate it in The Name Brenda G Gomnick. I have also placed two Links for stem cell research in the name of my cousin Allen Staller

Chop Hospital Phila Pa.

http://www.chop.edu/consumer/index.jsp

St Jude http://www.stjude.org/stjude/v/index.jspvgnextoid=f2bfab46cb118010VgnVCM1000000e2015acRCRD

Stem Cell

Michael J Fox http://www.michaeljfox.org/

Christopher reeve http://www.christopherreeve.org/site/c.geIMLPOpGjF/b.899265/k.CC03/Home.htmThank you Herb A Krantz